 When going through challenging times, and it is intertwined with something else happening that you have little to no control over, it can feel like a bitter pill to swallow. Some examples might be, someone close to you passing away, a change of jobs, friendships or relationships changing or ending, your health changing, or having to move before you are ready or want to. Sometimes spiritual and/or personal growth can help you get through tough situations by focusing on what you can have influence over. Your daily, weekly, or once in a while spiritual practice is something you have a choice to practice. You might take a moment to notice what you feel drawn to spiritually and what practices just don’t resonate with you. This is all important information, even the things that are not working for you. For instance, so many people struggle with wanting to sit and clear their mind to meditate as a spiritual practice. That is a great practice but it’s not for everyone. There are so many different types of spiritual practices and types of meditation. If you like moving, try meditating with your eyes open while walking, you could pick a mantra to repeat every time your foot lands on the ground, or walk a labyrinth or a labyrinth pattern, if you don’t have one already made for you in your community. Alternatively, you could listen to a meditation that has visualizations if you want to be still but don’t like the “emptying your mind” technique. Some people love to keep it simple with breathing techniques, of which there are many many different types! There really is a spiritual or meditative type of practice for everyone, if you haven’t found a good fit yet, don’t give up! A little thinking outside of the box could help you get set with a practice that works for you. It is important to remember, it’s not about forcing yourself to feel ok with something, but rather looking at a situation with curiosity, when you are ready to do so, and discovering what you might learn about yourself in the process.  Personal and/or spiritual growth can sometimes be used instead of grieving or having feelings in order to avoid feelings. It’s important to allow yourself to have your feelings first! If it’s not something you do naturally, letting your feelings out can feel like a challenging, uncomfortable, or messy step. This can be especially so if you haven’t yet worked out how to sit with your feelings and practice self care that uniquely works for you. Repressed feelings tucked away in an internal container have a way of coming out at inconvenient times, so it’s helpful to develop a healthy way of emptying your “feelings” container.
If you struggle with knowing how to have your feelings first, or are not sure where to start with your personal or spiritual growth, contact us here to get started on your journey today. Going through a challenging time in your life can be really rough, and exhausting, especially if you tend to do things on your own and struggle to ask for help. There are a few things that you can do to help ease the burden of a challenging time in your life to help yourself manage or avoid burn out and lessen stress. Here is an ongoing series that can help you start to learn about constructing or reinforcing your foundation so that you are able to learn how to feel empowered to get through these times while building the ability to reduce or avoid burnout.  Seek A supportive communitySometimes seeking support and community can feel intimidating. If it does, try breaking this step down into smaller steps. If you get stuck, building community is a great topic to take into a counselling session, or ask a trusted resourceful person in your life to help brainstorm. Try looking into different groups and communities that seem like a good fit. If you are thinking “erm yeah, I am not so excited about being in a big group or community”, it doesn’t have to be big, it could be a very small community if you prefer smaller groups. You could even try an online community or group. I have heard of some people playing video games daily or weekly with a team, or a group and being on voice chat with each other being a source of connection and support. You could also opt to interact with people from the community on a one-on-one basis too. More than one community can be helpful if that feels right for you but you are not required to do more, or anything that feels overwhelming rather than supportive. Keep in mind, this is something that is a good fit for you rather than you trying to contort yourself to fit another situation. All aspects of this are up for your customization. If a community feels supportive and comfortable and that looks like 3 people to you, then that is the perfect community for you! If you feel stumped as to where to start looking for a like-minded community that would be a good fit, try some of these ideas to get you started.
 This all can take a bit of trial and error to figure out what it is you need and want, and to find a good fit for a place where you feel accepted as you are. As you open up to considering the communities you have access to, gradually you will start to reinforce a stronger foundation and find others who also seem to have similar experiences and feelings.
If you would like to work with a counsellor at Empathic Heart Counselling contact us here to get started on your journey to a solid foundation and support to use those life challenges as stepping stones to build the life you want to experience. |
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